


Dinner With Ms. Paint

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, unexpected ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 19:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spades Slick and his girlfriend Ms. Paint share a dinner, among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner With Ms. Paint

Spades was sitting down, tired after a long day of interrogations and crime in the Alternian underworld. He sighed, and looked at his watch. Taking a swig from his flask, he stood up and went to the balcony of his top floor penthouse apartment, lighting up a cigarette. Taking a long drag, he exhaled, the smoke billowing out of his mouth. He owned this city, every dollar store and apartment building. He heard his door opening, taking a look into the spacious apartment. His girlfriend was sliding into the door, holding a bag of groceries in her hand.

Spades crushed the remainder of his smoldering cigarette in the ashtray leaning precariously on top of the balcony railing, and slipped inside. Stepping into the kitchen, Ms. Paint was putting the groceries away, sliding a bottle of whiskey on top of their refrigerator. Spades slunk up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her gently.

“How are you this fine evening, baby?” He asked, nuzzling into her neck. She was surprised, and jumped. Turning her head, she said in her motherly sounding voice,

“Oh, it’s just you, Spades. Ya scared me. I’m doin’ just fine. Youself, sugar?”

“I’m good. What’s for dinner tonight, hun?” Spades asked, his stomach rumbling.

“I brought home some strip steak from the store, so i’ll fry that up on the stove. And they were having a sale on liquor today, so I brought home a small gift for ya’.” She said, smiling and winking at Spades. Spades’ face lit up, and he spun Ms. Paint around, giggling.

“Want me to get the stove ready for dinner?” He asked, still dancing with Ms. Paint.

“Would’ya mind, honey?” She asked back.

“Not at all” He said, twirling over to the oven, putting a frying pan on top of it. “How hot d’ya need it, sugar?”

“Set it to high, please.” She responded. Spades did just as she asked, with a smile on his face. He was always happy around Ms. Paint. They weren’t married, if they got married they’d probably be slaughtered, since Spades was a Dersite and Ms. Paint was a Prospitian. The only reason they got left alone in the first place is because Spades basically wrote the book on murdering people, and owned an extensive knife collection. Needless to say, people feared him.

Ms. Paint started cooking dinner, whistling while she worked. Spades walked over to the window, looking down at the dark streets below him. The people looked like ants. Spades took a knife out, one that wouldn’t arouse suspicion if it were to hit, and opened the window. He threw it out of the window, and it nailed someone directly on the top of their head. Spades smiled wickedly, giggling with childlike glee. Ms. Paint looked over, and she rolled her eyes, smirking. She was used to Spades doing stuff like that now, and she found it kind of endearing after a while.

“Bullseye, hun’?” Ms. Paint asked sarcastically. 

“Yep, dear.” Spades responded, gliding back towards the Prospitian to help with dinner preparations. Dinner was going smoothly so far, and the kitchen smelled heavenly. The steak was sizzling and crackling in the pan. Ms. Paint was preparing a quick salad, and Spades started slicing up a loaf of bread with one of his many knives, this one being serrated along the entire edge of the blade. Ms. Paint flipped the steak, some of the oil splattering onto the stove.

Spades opened the fridge, and got a stick of butter, using one of his duller knives to spread some butter on the bread. Ms. Paint was setting the table, and once the steak was finished she placed the two strip steaks on the plates, placing the bread next to it and putting a medium sized bowl of salad next to each plate. she then opened the fridge, and dug out the new bottle of whiskey, popping it open and pouring a glass for Spades and herself.

“Dinners ready, hun!” Ms. Paint said, since Spades was preoccupied with the scene he created down on the streets, since he was finished with his part in the preparations.

“I’ll be right there, hun!” Spades said, as he drifted away from the window to join his lady-friend at the table. It was an extravagant setup, with fancy candles and a nice tablecloth to boot. Taking a seat, Spades pulled out a sharp knife and a stabbing knife, and handed his ladyfriend a fork and a steak knife, since she wasn’t so fond of sticking knives in her mouth

Spades started eating, cutting with one knife and using the other knife as a fork. Ms. Paint always found it a bit strange that Spades never cut his mouth open when doing that. 

“The food is amazing, honey!” Spades said, his mouth filled with the steak.

“Thanks, hun’.” Ms. Paint said, eating the salad first.

Spades was surprised that Ms. Paint took such a liking to him, since he was so violent, and he was a Dersite. But, Ms. Paint was just so nice and accepting of Spades, and cute to boot. He could never find a lady this fine on Derse, that’s for sure. He downed the rest of his drink, and Ms. Paint did the same. The lady could handle her liquor, he knew that much.

Finishing up their meals, they both rubbed their stomachs, content with the food.

“Wanna throw knives at the people down below, sugar?” Spades asked

“Sure, hun’.” Ms. Paint replied, smiling slyly. They both got up and Spades grabbed some of his cheap knives, handing some to Ms. Paint.

“Ladies first, sugar.” Spades said, a smirk on his face.


End file.
